Change Your Mind

So, blogging feels awkward right now. Not too sure why. Maybe vlogging is the way to go? Thoughts?
...
Except that, like, two people actually read this and I talk to you in person. >.<
I'm bored, tired, frustrated, and getting sick. YAY. But, like, I get to think about positive things?... Or something?

Have a good week, I guess.
Mondays are the worst.
~ED

Rollercoaster of Emotion

So, I don't know a lot about emotion.
But I do know that if I saw a bullet headed in his direction, I’d block it with all my fucking might.

Not a lot to report on, really. Well, actually there is, but nothing I'm just going to spill my heart over the internet for. :P
POETRY TIME...

Wonderland
Ten months
Feels like a long time
When you’re in love
Especially
When you’re alone

When you love a fantasy,
Ten months is a lifetime
And sometimes it feels beautiful
But it’s never real
And nothing is as satisfying
As what you hope things will be

Because my hopes include you:
Your piercing, angelic voice
Your kind, understanding eyes
Telling me you’re here
That you won’t leave
And that you care.

Real life sucks
Because it’s uncertain
The unknown fears
Eating away at my hopes
Leaving a hole
Where my gut should be
And I feel alone.

Until I dream again.
--
<3
ED

Trippin'

I'm going to DC Sunday. Super cool school trip. I am excited.
I get to see my brother, and possibly my friend from camp Ellie. She's kind of super awesome, and yeah. <3
I get to definitely see my brother, which is cool. I mean, he just left so I'm not THAT pumped, but I love the fool. :)
I'll post some poetry later if I remember to... <3 Sorry for being boring.
~ED

Under The Gun

I've been listening to The Killers quite a lot lately. Got an idea for a musical... If only I could write music. Not up to much. Still sick [massive headache right now and still coughing loads], rehearsal every Sunday is ... stressful. It's like... hard to explain, but lots going on there. Hairspray also isn't exactly the musical I'd choose to have stuck in my head all the time. Whatever.
Not much to report on. Not really writing anything right now. Kind of inspired, but when you feel sick writing isn't exactly first on the to-do list. Soup is. Mmm. I'm barely sick, but I'm sick. And I feel awful today. I don't know why. Leaving tomorrow for cold country. SNOW! I'm excited, but I kinda want to just stay home at the same time. I guess being miserable in the snow is better than in the 70-something gross weather.
Sorry for a boring update.
~ED

Quirkiness.

I had some spark of the moment thing to say here, but I forgot it.
Happy Bloody Xmas. I feel like crap.

Schooling

I watched the movie Good Will Hunting the other day, when I was home sick. Good movie. Reminded me of the song by Ludo. So, that's just a random tidbit of my life that I'll throw out there.
The only thing I've been able to think of for the past week is that 'what if...?' about going to high school, and the one I chose. There are 3 major private schools [whole life, don't hate!] in my area. My brothers each went to two of them. I didn't apply for one of them, because it's an academically heavy school, and you have to be, like, a straight A student, which I definitely wasn't in middle school nor am I now. I am going to the school the second brother went to. My mom loves it, because he graduated right when I did middle school, so it's her 6th year doing volunteer stuff here. I applied to some other schools across town, you know- just in case, or whatever.
I did not apply to the 3rd school. The three schools live in a huge rivalry triangle, so both of my brothers would have killed me, and there was no reason for me to go there, anyway. The thing is, all I can think about is how much better my life would be if I were at that school. I really don't like more than half of my teachers, because they just don't teach. My english teacher spent an HOUR of class time this past Tuesday [block classes, 1hr and 15min classes] telling stories from his life. That's really interesting, dude, but I DON'T CARE. I'm there to learn about grammar and vocabulary and literature, not your life. He's a cool guy, but he doesn't teach. He also has no control over the students in that class [15-16 year olds are not exactly the most mature people on the planet]. It's awful, and I've heard stories about higher classes' teachers being the same as my english one. My junior friend's history teacher lets them leave classes whenever they want to, and does the same with telling life stories. I don't exactly put forth a lot of effort into work, not as much as I should, anyway, but I like learning. Exploring old wars, learning how to integrate more sophisticated vocabulary, so as to distinguish my writing from that of a middle schooler. I enjoy knowing things. So, all I can think about right now, is all that I've heard about my friends at the 3rd school. All 3 people I've talked to about it love it there. Nobody really 'loves' their high school experience, so it seems. They're like 'Glad I'm not in high school anymore' or whatever. My friends from School 3 seem really passionate when they tell me that it's a great school. I really want to explore this as an option, and the first deadline for application stuff is in about a month.
So...
How the hell do I tell my parents??
~ED

Randomlings.

So I'm home from school today. I feel like the rain clouds outside are all secretly in my sinuses or something, because I feel awful. Not even the adorable image of my two cats can make me feel better, though how cool would it be if it could? It's like, "This woman is sick! GET HER TO THE CATS!"
Yeah, I'm probably not in my right mind right now. I lost a lot of sleep because of some intense thunder/lightning around 2. I went to bed at like 10, and was awake from 2-3 and woke up at 9.30. So, I didn't really lose that much sleep, but it feels like I did. I also just feel really weak. And awful. Sorry if this turns into a self-pity rant.
Um, I'll just attach a poem, and then feel slightly accomplished. That works.

Show Your Cards
Written 22 October, edited 26 October

You know.
Everything I hid
And kept inside,
You know it all.

I write,
By the fire
And feel extremely
Peaceful.

My frustration
And confusion
Rise with the smoke,
And disappear.

But I still
Want to know
Everything.

It's only fair,
Right?
Equivalent trade.

I hope you think so
I'm handing you
My emotions

Please be careful.

Sorry if this was pointless, but hey, it's a blog! >.< I sound so stupid.
~ED